Also

I have lost the ability to make salad dressing. I pour the oil. I salt and pepper. I pour the lemon juice. And then my salad tastes like the sourest grape in existance. Actually, it just tastes like it's been washed in lemon. wtf?

Grant Writing Hizzzzzell

So, it's very exciting that google is going to digitize all the books in the universe and offer them up for sale to me, because if you know me, you must also know my external harddrive, Maurice, and Maurice is a hungry, hungry hippo. What I really need, however, is that they digitize me and let me stay in Russia for another year without my having to apply for grants or pay the enormous cost of living here. Eh? Can you do that Sergey? Maurice and I are waiting.

First Press Conference

Hey y'all! Look whose internet is working again.

Just wanted to post briefly to say helloooo. I wish I could have been dancing in the streets with you guys rather than having this insane wave of insomnia. But you know, whatever. I'm riding it.

Check out this press conference. Just want to note a couple of things (as per the promised but forgotten format of this here bloooog).

1) President Obama can be pretty evasive (security) and all sound-bite spin-cycley (taxes) when he doesn't want to discuss something. I wish that were not the case. I'm probably asking for too much. (And not that I don't agree with the whole, shut up and pay your taxes thought. But still, totally evasive, and sounds like he's still on the campaign trail.)

2) Good question, Candy Crowley: now that you've actually been security briefed, are you more scared? I'd never thought of it, but it's true. He must know so much crazy shit now. Scary chuckle from Obama. Uh, yikes?

3) Dog question!

4) (unrelated) I want to hear about your election days, please tell me about them!

More Screamales Glory

What I Did on my Summer Vacation...

Step One: Operation Food Decompression: Bahn Mi in Sunset Park. MMMmmmMmmMM:


Step Two: Friends!

Step Three: art + trips => Dia Beacon


Step Four: Hair cut, Kentucky Curtis loves Brooklyn, pledges to vote Obama, MG compared to Rachel Maddow, Irish Haven officially named "Best Bar Ever," konfetki are purchased and consumed, E&A officially named "Best Hosticheks Eva"

Step Five: acquiring new "job skills"


And a SNEAK PREVIEWWWWWW!!!!!