Special Friends

I know, I know. Bad Gote. Never leaving the house except to frolic in virtual reality. I promise, more pictures of the Motherland. But for now, you'll have to just stare into the gaping maw of Vinny, a canine friend from back home. I'm trying to tell him about late-Soviet performance art, but he seems to find it all a bit of a bore. Well, we can't please everyone.

Done!

Thank you all for providing your culinary stories in the previous comments section. Unfortunately, kolbasachka will not be making it into my uzhin-bowl any time soon, but I will be sure to be making a trip to the ABCs of Taste store for some mayo, mustard, and honey (vinegar came with the apartment). And you know why? Because I'm done, y'all! At 3:04 am four days before the deadline, I'm done with my stinking grant proposal! That's four days and 20 minutes faster than last year. Personal best! I think I deserve some damn good salad. And the money, I deserve the money.

Give me the money!

In other news, do you think Jon Pareles was making a swipe at Sarah Palin in his "appraisal"of Miriam Makeba in the NYT today? He starts out with:

To be the voice of a nation speaking to the wider world is a tough mission for any performer. To be the voice of an entire continent is exponentially more difficult.

I don't even see how the two are all that different. Or at least, not exponentially different, unless, like, the number of countries in Africa the Continent (A1) is some exponent of the number of countries in Africa the Country (A2), which is not even true, cause, you know,

Therefore, by the transitive property, to represent a continent, which is exponentially more difficult than representing a country, is actually equally as difficult or even THE SAME THING as representing a country. So basically, what we've proved is that Sarah Palin was right.

You go, girl! And you go, Africa! That's some speedy country over there. Can't see it from Alaska, unfortunately, but you know, I'm no dictator.

Also, I think I'm going to plagiarize Pareles in the conclusion of my proposal.

GOOD NIGHT!

Also

I have lost the ability to make salad dressing. I pour the oil. I salt and pepper. I pour the lemon juice. And then my salad tastes like the sourest grape in existance. Actually, it just tastes like it's been washed in lemon. wtf?

Grant Writing Hizzzzzell

So, it's very exciting that google is going to digitize all the books in the universe and offer them up for sale to me, because if you know me, you must also know my external harddrive, Maurice, and Maurice is a hungry, hungry hippo. What I really need, however, is that they digitize me and let me stay in Russia for another year without my having to apply for grants or pay the enormous cost of living here. Eh? Can you do that Sergey? Maurice and I are waiting.

First Press Conference

Hey y'all! Look whose internet is working again.

Just wanted to post briefly to say helloooo. I wish I could have been dancing in the streets with you guys rather than having this insane wave of insomnia. But you know, whatever. I'm riding it.

Check out this press conference. Just want to note a couple of things (as per the promised but forgotten format of this here bloooog).

1) President Obama can be pretty evasive (security) and all sound-bite spin-cycley (taxes) when he doesn't want to discuss something. I wish that were not the case. I'm probably asking for too much. (And not that I don't agree with the whole, shut up and pay your taxes thought. But still, totally evasive, and sounds like he's still on the campaign trail.)

2) Good question, Candy Crowley: now that you've actually been security briefed, are you more scared? I'd never thought of it, but it's true. He must know so much crazy shit now. Scary chuckle from Obama. Uh, yikes?

3) Dog question!

4) (unrelated) I want to hear about your election days, please tell me about them!